Apologize
by smellcolor
Summary: Takes place the day after “A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate” Chuck decides to apologize to Blair.


Apologize

Summary: Takes place the day after "A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate" Chuck decides to apologize to Blair. Oneshot.

Drunk Chuck decided he didn't need Blair and that she blew any chance of this thing between her and him going any further than the sordid affair they had, the second she chose her precious Nathaniel over him.

But the next day Sober Chuck had a very different outlook. He felt the pain stirring in his chest. He had thought that making her hurt would make him hurt less. Now he realizes that was foolish and he felt an emotion he had never felt; guilt.

In light of this new emotion (well new to Chuck Bass), he makes his way to the Waldorf penthouse hoping that Blair will at least hear him out.

When Chuck steps out of the elevator he looks around and it appears that no one is home. He makes his way up the stairs and toward her room when he hears it. Sobs are coming from her room and he feels a knife go through his chest. Hesitantly he raises a hand to the door and knocks lightly.

"I said I wasn't hungry! Leave me alone Dorota!" For a moment he considers just leaving, maybe she wasn't ready for this. Hell maybe he wasn't ready for this. But he can hear her sniffling and trying to control her tears and the only thing he can think is that he is the reason she feels this way.

So he reaches for the knob and turns it slowly, then he pushes the door open and enters her room. She's on her bed facing the wall. "Please go away. I still don't want to talk." And the tears she thought she had in check start falling once again.

"Blair…" Upon hearing his voice the tears stop and she sits up to look at the door.

"What are you here to insult me some more. Well don't bother… I heard you loud and clear. So just go away!" Hatred is clearly written on her face and for a moment he thinks about doing just that, turning and leaving to never come back. But she deserves to know why he acted the way he acted.

"I don't expect you to forgive me. But I am really sorry… and if you'll give me five minutes of your time I promise I won't bother you ever again." Sincerity had never been Chuck's strong suit so when she looked in his eyes and saw that he meant what he was saying she merely made a gesture toward the chair in the corner.

"Fine. But only so you'll leave me alone."

"I said some horrible things, even for me." Before he could finish his thought she was already interrupting.

"You think?" Disdain poured from her mouth.

"But I didn't mean them. I know this isn't an excuse, but I was drunk. And I was angry and kind of hurt. Believe me, if I could take back what I said I would. I have never regretted something more than I regret this."

"Why did you say it if you didn't mean it? Usually Scotch brings out your true colors. Why am I supposed to believe you?" Her words are still dripping with malice however there is a hint of hopefulness present.

"You hurt my feelings. And before you say anything, yes the Great Chuck Bass does have feelings. Do you remember the feeling you felt when Nathaniel told you about Serena? That was the feeling I felt when I saw you with him after the cotillion."

"You saw us?" The words were whispered so lightly he wasn't sure she said them.

"Yes, I saw you. It seems as though I have a talent for catching Nate in the act." His jaw clenches and it seems as though he isn't going to finish his five minutes, but then he relaxes and continues. "You didn't even give me a chance to explain before running straight back to him. I was coming to apologize and explain what had happened. I felt….betrayed."

"You left for Monaco after that, right?" Blair's anger had subsided and she was now genuinely curious.

"I… um… I left that night. I couldn't be here. I just had to be, well not here."

"You said you were coming to explain…explain what?"

"I wasn't trying to ruin the cotillion. I knew how much it meant to you, I wanted it to be special. But then Nate asked me to find out who you were seeing. I couldn't let him know the truth, so when Carter came to your house it was perfect, I could throw the heat off of me."

"You sent the picture to Gossip Girl…"

"Yes….but I had no idea he was still going to the cotillion after Serena decided to go with Brooklyn. So I told Nathaniel that you were seeing Carter. When he showed up I was shocked and yes I might have provoked Nate but that was only because I could see you slipping away. I wasn't sad to see Nate get kicked out, but I wasn't trying to ruin it for you."

"Well that explains that. But why did you tell Gossip Girl about us?"

"It was right after you told me you weren't pregnant. You told me I was 'a mistake so far in the past you could hardly remember it.' Even after everything that happened I never thought you regretted being with me. So in the heat of the moment I outted the whole thing. I acted rashly and I regret hurting you."

"Well you seem to have an answer for everything. Well even though your five minutes were up a long time ago, I do have to say I'm curious….why were you so mean to me?" Tears are welling in her eyes and he's decided he can't take much more of her tears.

"I have to admit I was hoping that the Gossip Girl post would drive you back to me. But when you got there I was already pretty drunk and pretty damn angry."

"Why? If it was what you wanted….why were you angry?"

"I didn't tell Gossip Girl it was me, I somehow in my messed up logic thought I wouldn't lose Nate. But he found out it was me and we got into a huge fight in front of everyone. He told me we were not friends anymore. Despite my popularity, Nate is my only friend and to have him publicly denounce our friendship killed me."

"I didn't know about Nate. I knew he would be mad. That damn little Jenny Humphrey told him it was you."

"And then when you got there and you told me I was your last resort, I lashed out. After everything the only reason you came to me at all was because everyone else had turned on you."

"Wasn't that what you wanted….total social destruction?"

"I wanted you to realize…..damn. I don't know what I wanted. But to be told that you only wanted me because Nate didn't was not what I was expecting. I was embarrassed and hurt and that's not really an excuse, but I am sorry."

A long sigh escapes her lips and she looks him in the eyes. "I accept your apology. And I guess I kind of owe you one myself. I'm sorry that I hurt you, I didn't realize… well I didn't realize a lot of things."

"I accept." He moves over to sit next to her on the bed. Their hands find each other and intertwine.

"If it's not too painful… can I ask what all transpired in your fight with Nate."

"Well he came out and grabbed me. At first I didn't even know what was happening. But then he asked me if I slept with you. I didn't answer, but he knew. To say he was angry would be an understatement. He asked me if I got what I wanted, like usual. Then I lost my temper and spouted off something like it was his fault for pushing you away. So then he said something about screwing for sport and I tried to say that it wasn't like that. But he didn't believe that I could possibly care about you. I said that you guys were broken up, but he didn't care. Then he told me to stay away from him, for good."

"He hates us both. So, rest well in the fact that you are not alone."

"Blair, you have every right to hate me too. I'll understand if we can't be friends."

"I don't think we can be friends, Chuck." He's surprised at the tears that spring to his eyes when she declares this.

"Oh, okay. Um…. I'll just go then." Slowly he gets up and walks to the door. Turning around he says, "someday, I hope we can put all this behind us." Quietly he shuts the door behind him and starts down the stairs.

For a few seconds Blair just sits there. Then without another though she jumps to her feet and quickly follows the path that Chuck has just made. She runs down the stairs to find him waiting for the elevator. His eyes are closed and he's pinching the bridge of his nose, staving off tears.

"I said…. I don't think we can be _friends._ I haven't thought of you as just a friend in a long time. I don't think I'll ever go back to thinking of you like that. I want more than that. Can we be more than that?" While she was speaking he made his way toward her and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"You have no idea….how happy I am that you asked that." His lips lower to hers in a soft kiss. "God, I've missed that."

"You want to come back up to my room?" Her eyes are seductive and her voice is filled with want.

"Lead the way, Waldorf."

(I cannot for the life of me write smut. So I'll leave that bit to your imagination.)

The End


End file.
